Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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