dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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