Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
