I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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