I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
