Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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