she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
