Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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