I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
