The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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