Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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