his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
