I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
