In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
