i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
