So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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