OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
