someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
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Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people