Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game