Betty ford says i'm here all night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."