Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Sext me about skeletons
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize