Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
