I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize