I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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