is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
