why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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