I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
