love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This baby is an asshole
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
