Where are you?
In a non slutty way
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
