Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
