I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
