didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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