Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
