He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
