Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't turn off my feet"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
