giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
