All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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