Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have fence marks all over my body
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
