I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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