I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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