i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize