Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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