we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
