So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
