sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
