Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
