I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
