Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Im part way to drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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