apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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