I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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