Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
