What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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