hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
