i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
