It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
