im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize