Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
