wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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