My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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