Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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