yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
