ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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