She is in my trunk
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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