U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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