try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
